Simple.īefore I do that, I must go home this weekend and enjoy myself. Maybe I should start putting things a little more plainly to myself like that. What do I do now? I must start a serious search for a job. Okay Justin, start looking at something other than feelings of worry. If you’ve read this far, and didn’t quit at the “flying from the bird’s nest” analogy, I thank you for having the strength to read on. I honestly don’t know where I’m going with this post, but I feel like I have to write this. A good family, set of friends, or support system help, but it doesn’t replace doing for one’s self. “ I am the master of my fate: / I am the captain of my soul.” Self-motivation is the key to conquering anything. Those last two line have always been my favorite lines of literature. I think I should start reading it more often. I put this poem on my Facebook profile a few months ago to try to keep myself motivated. The reason I need to be motivated again is because I am jumping into the real world pretty soon, and I don’t want to only be striving for my doublewide. I still feel like I’m only doing enough to keep a B though-just getting by. I’ve had pretty good self-motivation in school, but I felt most of my teachers lacking. I think I lost a lot of my support system, and I quit doing things. I started living alone for the first time in four years. Then, my roommate moved away (this is all your fault Danny, if you’re reading this). I was motivated to do homework, to go out, to exercise (of course)-I was motivated in all things.
I started the Body For Life program last April, and for about four months I was a different person. Somehow, I’ve lost that motivation I had seemed to get back about a year ago. But, I don’t see that as a reality.īack to my motivational problem. If I knew that I could change the educational system, the economic system, and the social system. I would be content if I knew my going back was going to change things in that area. I think it’s the thought of ending up back there that’s worse than anything. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a simple life, a loving wife/husband, a couple of kids, and to relax in the country. Everybody’s not like that there, but it seems like it when you take a look back. The main goal in life is to get a $20,000 a year job, a wife/husband, and a doublewide trailer. We were talking about where we grew up, and how we could never see ourselves back there, living as those people live. The reason I’m even blogging about this is because of the conversation my sister and I had tonight. I should be getting a good night’s sleep. At the very least, my short term goals.įor starters, I shouldn’t be up at 2 in the morning thinking about what I’m going to do. I think I need to seriously reassess my goals right now. I still don’t feel like I’m ready to hop out of the nest and feel the freedom of the air. It’s like the world is finally letting go, saying, “I’m not holding your hand anymore, now spread your wings and fly…” However, I do think some of this laziness stems from worry about the future. I don’t won’t to stray too far from my subject-laziness. In a way that is reassuring, but at the same time, it just frightens me a little more. My stepmother once told me (I think I mentioned this in a previous post) that I’m coming upon the biggest transition in my life, but it’ll be the last big one until I get married and have kids. I don’t have any definite plans set for the future, and that’s a scary thought. What makes this so different is the reality of it. I’m in a place where I don’t know where my life is going, and I’ve thought this the case many times. Asking For A Motivational High, Searching For Desire). Yes, these come often, my search for motivation and desire (e.g. I’m in one of those moods where I see I need a change in my life.
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